Some thoughts on the deaths of the Griswold, CT teens...

Part of me felt compelled... don't ask me why... it just did...

http://www.wtnh.com/dpp/news/new_london_cty/griswold-students-mourn-crash-deaths

For most people who live in the area, we know all about this event... and I chose that word since it seemed the least confrontational... incident, accident, tragedy, event, etc... call it what you will... in the end I don't suppose it really matters...

For the record... I'm of a mixed mind about this.

Yes, my sympathies and well wishes go to the families and friends of these teens. Any life taken by means other than natural death is tragic, especially worse when that life belongs to a youth. And its never easy to shoulder such grief... I know... I've lost many in my 30 years to know how hard it is, friends and family alike... and to see the community sounding so strongly in support of the families warms the heart.

But...

I also have to shake my head and sigh as yet another statistic is added to the ever growing list of teen-age driver incidents. The things that I have read about this event... the driver being unlicensed, the fact that there were 5 of them in the car to start with (a violation of CT teen driver laws... they're only allowed to have a single passenger with them when behind the wheel)... and any number of other facts that will come from the investigation that is certainly going on... it will only serve as more fuel for the fiery debate over teens and driving. And this too is sad...

Also...

There is a part of me that agrees with those that say they reeped what they sowed. Now before you flame me, hear me out...

Given what they know already about this event... its only right and fair to think that at least some measure of this is their own fault and doing and for every choice we make, we reep the reward... either good or bad. No one is above that reality... things catch up to you eventually... some more quickly than others...

But I state again, any life lost is tragic and awful...

Did they deserve to die? No. Is it fair to say that they suffered the price of a misguided choice? Yes. It was the ultimate price, a gamble that they lost... and I'll state again... it is tragic and awful.

Reality is what it is sadly... I can change it no more than any one else can and honestly I don't fancy to try.

I suppose its easier for me to be rational about this event considering I didn't know any of the teens involved, didn't know their families... heck I wouldn't have even known about them in any way had this not occurred... and I'm sure their families would have been happier for not only mine but most others ignorance of their lives. I know I'd rather have my child's name in the news for some sporting or academic achievement than for this...

But then, as someone who has once been in the shoes of these teen's friends... I can also reflect a bit on what the emotional roller coaster is going to be in the coming days, weeks, months... even years... It actually rings all too close to home for me... but my story isn't what's truly important... anyone who knows me already knows this story about as well as I do... what is important is that now everyone left behind is left to figure out what to do now...

Some will grieve and be alright looking fondly back the memories had with these kids...

Some will grieve and never let it go, dwelling in their own sorrow...

Some will try to point fingers and place blame and never deal with their own emotions...

And there will be countless others that will deal with this event in ways that I can't wrap my mind around at this time...

Needless to say, every day forward is going to be drastically changed for people who held these teens close to their hearts.

Those left behind...

I do have to wonder if they ever gave thought to them... I'm sure they did... if only in their last conscience thoughts before slipping into the hear after...

I suppose though that this would be a topic better suited for another time...

In the end I suppose my feelings on this come down to this... Yes it was a tragedy that these teens had to die... No I don't think its right to not place any blame on them for this happening...

To me it just boils down to one of the many things I try to live my life by... everything happens for a reason and we're not always privy to that reason.

Again, my thoughts and sympathies to the family and friends of these teens and I hope in the days to come they can find comfort in the memories and love they shared with them in the brief time they were alive.